Catland

Some reflection: I typically enter my battery saver mode because I want to be the one who is in control. Believe it or not, I actually WANTED to be in control of my life. Whether or not I aced it or I fucked up mattered less cuz I know I’m the to-go person who will take all the responsibility. It’s OK if I fucked up (as if I haven’t before). I just hate the uncertainty where I need to lean on someone else’s decision to do something in general. Specifically, I hate it when I am instructed to change who I am, to cater to some fucking girlish stereotype that people believe men would fancy. Can’t I just be appreciated for who I am? I’m asking for this and ONLY this. I hate the feeling as if I’m waiting on the green light from someone. However, still, I need to admit that I desperately want an ally by my side, so I don’t need to always struggle alone. Well, worst-case scenario, at leaset I’m able to struggle or survive or whatever you want to put it just by myself.